Cell Phones, Email, and Moral Decision: Is There a Connection?

Who is your child texting?  What emails or instant messages are being received?  Do you know what those abbreviations mean?

This article is adapted from information found in the Family Cell Phone Guide.

Texting, today's popular pastime, is a standard feature on most cell phones, one that presents many occasions of fun and also of concern.  After school and before school, we can see children making phone connections - with quick observations, funny quips, or friendly gestures.  We also see other kinds of connections taking place -  caustic remarks,  flirtations, or suggestive phrases.  The same happens with email. As children experiment with these devices, parents soon realize that texting and email are the means by which students can hurt one another or  pass along uncomfortable messages. 

These possibilities give us good reason to pause.  Texting, like instant messaging or emailing, can invite unexpected behavior from children.  Consider the situation.  Usually, during the day, when one young person acts in a way that harms another or hurts another's feelings, he or she can see, first hand, how that action has caused harm.  There is a visible effect. The child sees what he or she has really done, and the child tends to feel badly.  Through these experiences, children learn to empathize, to take the others' perspectives,  and to think ahead about consequences.  In the process, children need much guidance in order to develop empathy and judgment.    In time and with guidance, however, children begin to recognize when they have hurt others and when they have helped others.  They also begin to predict the effects of their own actions and make different choices.  It is a continuous effort and, along the way, conversations between children and parents are the most influential conversations that exist.   

In the case of text-messaging or emailing, the situation changes, in that behavior becomes somewhat invisible and words become inaudible.  With texting, it is possible for a child to create or pass along a very painful message without ever seeing the effect that the message has had upon another person.  This is still more likely, given the fact that students can text anonymously - or at least out of the hearing or view of a parent or other adult.   As a result, children and teens may well cause harm without fully understanding the effect.

So, what is a parent to do?  Well, first, talk to your child about texting (or emailing) and consider questions like these:

When is it okay to take and share photos with cell phones? 
What about audio recordings?
What do you do if you receive a text message from someone you don't know?
Should you tell a parents before downloading information?  Why?
When can you pass along a message to a friend or classmate?
Have you ever received texts that made you feel uncomfortable?  From whom?

Then, consider guidelines and limits.  For many reasons, children should use the computer in shared places in the home, where they can be seen often.   Cell phone texting can be limited or eliminated, depending on the situation.  Certainly, parents should regularly check all kinds of internet or texting communications. You might check this site out for more guidance.  Family Cell Phone Guide